Gratitude

This Thanksgiving, one word comes to mind for me as a human being: GRATITUDE /ˈɡradəˌt(y)o͞od/ -noun- the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. Being thankful -truly thankful- requires a moment of pause, reflection, and introspection. I've come to realize that "happiness" is really just a state of mind. It's a person's ability to take stock of what they have and where they are in life and focus on those things in a positive and thankful manner. Take, for instance, the millions of people around the globe that are living in squalid conditions by most of our standards. They have very little food, clothing, or material possessions. Many lack a decent house, running water, or electricity. Their days are spent working and struggling just to survive another day. But, incredibly, many of these people are quick to smile and laugh. They're generous with what little they have and they are truly thankful for what little they have or are given. Those people always amaze, humble, and inspire me to always be thankful for what I have and, in those moments when I'm tempted to complain about my situation or be envious of others, thinking of those 'happy' people who have next to nothing always tends to center me and refocus my thoughts to a more positive outlook. To quote an often-heard saying from my church days, "In all things, give thanks."  All things. Like the struggles, the obstacles, the pain, the failures, and the tears. All things. Because, while we can't always control the things that happen to us, we can always control our reaction to those things. I'd like to believe that something genuinely good can come out of the worst of situations, but it does take time and effort. It takes love and kindness too.

So I really want to try to choose gratitude and love above all else. It ain't easy sometimes. The past two years dealing with a pandemic, disinformation, ignorance, intolerance, division, and hate have impacted all of us; some more than others. I've got plenty to complain about and it's so easy to focus on and get caught up in those things. But, with a little effort, it's possible to flip the script and focus on gratitude. Showing appreciation for and returning kindness. Read those last six words again. Wow. If I can just do that regularly on a daily basis -if we all did that- what a great and positive impact that could have on a global scale. 

I'm a busy guy; always have been. So it's really important for me to use this brief Thanksgiving pause for what it was intended. Giving thanks. Showing gratitude. 

First, and foremost. I am nothing with out my family. I am so grateful to have had the mother that I had growing up. So much of who I am and what I believe come directly from her shining example throughout all the years I was lucky enough to have her in my life. My mother practiced what she preached. Many of the lessons and life skills I learned from her were unspoken; learned simply by witnessing her example. I'm still in awe of her to this day. She was the best of the best. I owe her so much. I am equally grateful for and in awe of my wonderful wife. We've been partners in chaos and capers for over 20 years now. She always has my back. Always. She makes me a better person without any prodding or pleading. She's constantly working on herself, reevaluating herself, and striving to be the best version of herself that she can. And that, in turn, makes me want to do the same. Not every couple has what we have. It's not magic or luck either. It's the result of a ton of struggles, obstacles, pain, failures, and tears. It's the result of a mutual kindness that we continue to foster between us. And for all of that, I am grateful. I'm grateful for our two children. Both of them the result of another mind-boggling amount of struggles, obstacles, pain, failures, and tears. But here we are, still a family. I'm proud of the people they are becoming. I'm grateful to have them every single day; even the most challenging days.

When it comes to friends, I've come to realize in the past ten years or so that I've probably had an unrealistic idea of what friendship is to me. A lot of guys have one or more really close, lifelong friends either dating back to childhood or resulting from later life experiences like college. I've witnessed these types of friendship all through my life and I was always a bit envious of them. I never remember having that sort of friend, except maybe while I was a teenager. But I've come to realize that friendship, much like any type of relationship, isn't the same experience for everyone. I've come to realize that I have a lot of friends and that the best way to cultivate and grow those friendships is to recognize and appreciate them and, in turn, extend that friendship back the other way. Want a good friend? Be a good friend. I can't believe it has taken me so long to understand friendship as it relates to my life, but now, I am certainly grateful for the many, many people I now consider friends and all they have done for me and with me to make my life so full and rewarding.

I find myself continually and regularly reflecting on my life these days and, for me, it almost always results in being grateful. Sure, I have regrets and I also have dreams and goals, but I'm extremely fortunate to be where I am currently in life. These moments of reflection are quick and fleeting most times, but Thanksgiving is a perfect time to take a longer than normal pause and really focus on that magical quality. Gratitude.