Love is My Religion

There has been a lot of discussion over that past -say- 10 years about how the moral compass of the United States has taken a nose dive into the toilet. These discussion are often times initiated by Evangelical Christians who claim that people are turning their backs on God and, as a result, our sinful ways are destroying traditional family values and United States as a whole.

What is a moral compass? Quite simply, it's the ability to know right from wrong. Someone with a strong moral compass always seems to do the right thing; even if doing the right thing is difficult. But 'right' and 'wrong' are not always concise sides of a coin. Our definition of what is right and what is wrong in informed by the society in which we live and by the rules or beliefs followed by that society. Often religion plays into those rules or beliefs. And that takes what is right and what is wrong into a whole other realm; depending on which religion is being followed.

Religion itself is a broad term. Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism, Shinto, Taoism, Spiritism, Jainism, Cheondoism, Zoroastrianism, etc. And those are just some of the major ones. While Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism are the big four and, combined, are followed by 77% of the world's population, there are nearly 10,000 other religions.

If we narrow it down to just Christianity, there are still around 45,000 different varieties/denominations. One god, one book (the Bible), but 45,000 different takes on that god and that book. That's 45,000 different guidelines of what is right and what is wrong. Sure, there's a consensus of agreement on some of the rights and some of the wrongs, but there's also a whole lot of disagreement ranging from what you can eat, what you can say, how you can dress, and what you can do. I'd wager it is nearly impossible to conform to any religion's list of what is right and what is wrong. And therein lies the problem of trying to base the rules of a society on a specific religion. Here in the United States, Christianity seems to be the gold standard. Christianity and it's 45,000 other cousins. It's ridiculous. Why do we have 45,000 flavors of Christianity? The simple answer is there are at least 45,000 religious leaders out there who have taken their interpretation of God and/or the Bible and presented it as THE WAY to all who wish to follow. Ridiculous, indeed.

The truth is I don't know if there's a god nor do I know how he/she/they operate or what they want from me. I could go on a quest to answer those questions, but I'd obviously get 45,000 different answers if I just limited my quest to Christianity. And all those people who claim to know God and how to follow him/her/them? Well, there's 44,999 other groups of people who would vehemently argue that they're mistaken and wrong. Organized religion is a joke. There, I said it. Go on and damn me to hell and rebuke me in the name of whatever god you follow. I don't care.

I'll continue with my heresy and blasphemy by stating that you need absolutely zero religious indoctrination to be able to tell the difference between what is wrong and what is right. In fact those people who depend on their religion to tell them what is right and what is wrong tend to make the wrong choices or develop a very distorted view of wrong and right. Just my opinion, mind you!

I was raised by a single mom who had a steadfast belief in a Christian God and his son, Jesus Christ. We attended church most Sundays, but it was a Mennonite church because, well, that was the one that was right down the street from us. When I got a little bit older, but still a young kid, my mom had found a Baptist church in the next town over and we started going there. I ended up attending school at this Baptist church's Christian Academy. Word of Life Christian Academy. There was one teacher and a few teacher's aids and the students pretty much worked independently in workbooks called 'paces' for each subject. And regardless of whether it was Math, English, Social Studies, or Science, they paces always worked in the angle of God and Jesus and were full of Bible verses that supposedly applied to the lesson at hand. I loved the way the learning was set up at this school because I could work at my own pace in each subject. I didn't have to learn the same exact thing at the same exact time as the rest of the students. But it wasn't until years later that I realized how much religious indoctrination I was undergoing in addition to my traditional education subjects. No one would probably classify the Baptist denomination of Christianity as a cult, but there were some pretty weird ideas taught to me regarding what was wrong and right. Thankfully, common sense and critical thinking skills served me well in separating Baptist doctrine from reality. And the more I got a taste of what so-called religious people were all about, the less I wanted to be anywhere near that shit show.

These days, love is my religion. Maybe there is a god -or many gods- but with 55,000 distinct religious groups out there; all with their own distinct religious beliefs, I'm going to have to go with my gut on this one and follow my own moral compass. For me, this is pretty simply summed up as Don't Be An Asshole! Religious zealots do a lot of asshole things. Like mocking and judging anyone who doesn't believe what they believe. But since they're doing that in the name of their religion, they seem to think this justifies their asshole behavior and increases their favor with God. Nope. Sorry. Not being an asshole means not judging or ridiculing someone else because they have different beliefs than you. You don't have to agree with what they do or what they believe, you just have to quietly accept that with over 8 billion people in the world, there may be more than a few (billion) that see things differently than you. 

OK, so there is some definitely vagueness attached with the credo Don't Be An Asshole. My love religion also means I help when and who I can. That requires empathy which I think I was born with. But I'm inclined to believe you can also learn to be a more empathetic person as you progress through life and are exposed to more people and situations. I think it's like a muscle; the more you use it, the stronger it gets and the more naturally it is employed. Humility is another big one for me. I will gladly list for you all the things I'm good at doing, but I'm also keenly aware there are millions of other folks who are much, much better at doing those very same things. I am fine with being a small cog in a large machine. And, gee, if everyone could agree on this, I think things would be so much better. I'm not saying I don't matter; because I do -especially to my family and close friends. I'm just saying I don't matter any more than anyone else around me. The danger of gaining lots of wealth or fame or power is to then equate those things with being a more important person than anyone else. And once you start thinking that way, you lose perspective. Again, just my opinion here! 

Along with humility comes gratitude. The older I get, the more grateful I become about life. I think I used to take too much for granted. Once my kids got older enough to verbally complain, one of their favorite things to say was "That's not fair!" To which I'd quickly respond "Yeah, well, life's not fair!" By the same token, I don't think life is unfair, it's just random. I used to believe that everything happens for a reason, but now I just believe we can't always control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to it. You'll hear someone say something like, "Yeah, I lost my job right before Christmas so I took that college course I had been putting off and a guy in my class told me about a job that I applied for. I've been there ever since and it's been my dream job! See?! Everything happens for a reason!" Eh, I don't see it that way, but OK. I'll go with life is random. That means good things happen and bad things happen. I'm grateful for the good things and I'm mindful to not overreact to the bad things. That's worked out for me so far. Being grateful for the smallest of things makes you realize even the smallest actions or gestures can have a big impact on someone's day.

Humility, gratitude, patience, kindness, empathy. They are each a facet of my religion of love and make up my moral compass. I choose friendships and allies based on the presence of these attributes as well. I'm not really all that concerned about your religious beliefs; I'm more concerned how you treat me and others around you. I'd much rather be around a person who makes the world a better place just because they want to make the world a better place and not because they think they're racking up brownie points to ensure their passage through the pearly gates. There are millions -probably billions- of people who live their lives this way... doing good deeds in order to guarantee everlasting life in the great beyond. Forgive my skepticism, but I have ZERO idea what's going to happen to me after I die, but it's reasonable to assume that'll be the end of it. Why is it so terrible to believe that, once you die, you're just dead. You cease to be. Your soul won't be lounging around on clouds up in heaven or reincarnated into some other form of living thing, you just cease to be. What lives on are your actions and words in the hearts and minds of those who knew you while you occupied this world. Why is that such a bad thing? I'm completely at peace with that idea so I will continue to live my life trying as best I can to be a good person and to help others how and when I can with a focus on empathy, humility, gratitude and love. Love is my religion.